Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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