I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
There's even glitter on my cock...
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