just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
it hurts more in the daytime
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
