You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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