how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize