i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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