ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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