I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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