Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
