My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
