Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize