I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
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And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
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All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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