If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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