It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
