so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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