butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
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