I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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