To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
