I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
