he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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