Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
