"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Say something about gay babies.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
