just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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