I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
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