I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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