Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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