she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize