i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
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Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
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Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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