The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
