fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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