fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize