I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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