I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
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