discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
