Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
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