I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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