I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
