So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
