in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
3pm strippers are depressing
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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