Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
