Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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