There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
