winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
