I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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