I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
