Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
