i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
