Don't you send me to vm
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
