apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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