We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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