its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
