I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
