I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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