oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Randomize