I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Still dying that you shit outside
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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