this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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