Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
